Speak from the Heart

Is it just me or have you become just as overwhelmed with all the headlines the press has been shooting our way lately – Haiti (globally important), President’s State of the Union address (politically important), Golden Globes (important for Hollywood), SAG Awards (important for Actors), launch if the iPad (important for technology), US still in national debt (politically and economically important), the Australian Open (athletically important), Avatar biggest grossing movie of all time (important to the industry, economy, and James Cameron), etc…. obviously there’s a lot more going on, BUT, just you wait… in two weeks all the frenzy, believe it or not –will be revolving around Valentine’s Day. Sad, but true. With so much going on, it is very likely that people will want to use this day as an excuse to escape and be selfish and superficial and just want to celebrate the love in their lives without any judgment or guilt. I understand, and am on board with taking a break for the harsh reality we live in. However, the actual meaning of this holiday has been distorted over the years and has come to mean something different not just to people across the country, but to people across the world as well. When did all the lovey dovey nonsense surpass the celebration of love all around?

The army of cupcakes, heart shaped cookies and cakes; red and pink balloons, flowers; cards and billboards; chocolates, champagne and strawberries will be invading us very soon. We live in a society where heart shaped candy that says “I Love You” is an acceptable tool to use when the words simply can’t seem to come out of you own heart. This is a holiday in which actions (and materialism) actually speak louder than words. I don’t get it…

A friend of mine sends me a daily horoscope, so that I can “be prepared for whatever the day may bring me”. None of it every happens, but it’s still kind of comforting to be prepared for something than for nothing. This week I have been receiving horoscopes that highlight my love life – if I’m already in a relationship, then it will only get better; if I’m single, then the love of my life is just around the corner. The timing couldn’t be more perfect – Valentine’s Day is on it’s way, and I am getting positive cosmic vibes telling me that I will soon find love, and thus will be able to celebrate it.

I have observed some cultural differences in the way this day of love is perceived around the world – and I’ve noticed that people in the U.S. nowadays take this day way more seriously than others do. For example, in France, a "High Court of Love" was established in Paris on Valentine's Day in 1400. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. In Latin America the day is known as “Day of Love and Friendship,” in Finland it is known as “Friends Day,” in Portugal “Day of Lovers,” and the list goes on and on…. There are so many meanings behind this day, but the one that surpasses them here in the states is “Single Awareness Day” a.k.a. SAD (ironic). On Singles Awareness Day, single people gather to celebrate or to commiserate in their single status – isn’t that the same as getting together with friends, family? Do you really need to be attached to someone romantically to appreciate and celebrate this holiday?
In my opinion, I think it is absurd to exaggerate ones expression of love for life, family, friends, and loved ones on this specific day. If you love someone (anyone) this should be expressed and appreciated every single day. If you truly feel lucky to have these people in your life, then that is something they should know on a regular basis. Why hype up the holiday and add pressure on people who are happy just as they are - not needing to buy presents, and pay for expensive dinners, or feel bad that they are single, or in an unhappy relationship. Generalizing what you should be doing on this day, it  A) throws the “surprise factor” out the window  B) everything now is a complete cliché  C) it builds pressure around a relationship (especially for the guy)  D) it excludes people.

In order to make a reservation at one of the nicest restaurants for this day, you have to call 3 months in advance, otherwise forget about it. Chocolates are used more by single people as a way of eating their emotions, cards are floating all over the place saying sentimental romantic phrases because you (the person in love) couldn’t come up with anything to say? Really? By buying in to this generic form of celebration it makes people spend money they could have used for something else, it makes women have extremely high expectations for this day to be perfect – will he propose? Where will he take me? What surprise does he have for me? For guys, it makes them feel like the have to do something extra special for their girl on this day (if they remember).

Showing someone how much you love them is the best form of expression, but, it shouldn’t be limited to this one specific day just because someone decided to make February 14 into the “universal” day of love. Everyday love, in general, should be appreciated and expressed – when it’s gone it is one of the most horrible emotions one can feel, and not having cherished it on a daily basis may become a great regret in the future. So if you are married, in a relationship, yes celebrate this day with the your loved one, but don’t limit yourself to showing how much you care for them to only happen on Valentine’s Day. Also, include all the rest of the people you love and appreciate having in your life – family and friends are truly precious and shouldn’t be taken for granted either. And if you are single, please don’t be S.A.D., it isn’t the end of the world, and there are plenty of people you can share this day with who love you and feel lucky to have you in their lives. Valentine’s Day is coming at us full throttle, will you succumb to its pressures, or will you take it as any other day and continue to spread the love just like you do through out the year? I say let Peace and Love reign!