Speak from the Heart

Is it just me or have you become just as overwhelmed with all the headlines the press has been shooting our way lately – Haiti (globally important), President’s State of the Union address (politically important), Golden Globes (important for Hollywood), SAG Awards (important for Actors), launch if the iPad (important for technology), US still in national debt (politically and economically important), the Australian Open (athletically important), Avatar biggest grossing movie of all time (important to the industry, economy, and James Cameron), etc…. obviously there’s a lot more going on, BUT, just you wait… in two weeks all the frenzy, believe it or not –will be revolving around Valentine’s Day. Sad, but true. With so much going on, it is very likely that people will want to use this day as an excuse to escape and be selfish and superficial and just want to celebrate the love in their lives without any judgment or guilt. I understand, and am on board with taking a break for the harsh reality we live in. However, the actual meaning of this holiday has been distorted over the years and has come to mean something different not just to people across the country, but to people across the world as well. When did all the lovey dovey nonsense surpass the celebration of love all around?

The army of cupcakes, heart shaped cookies and cakes; red and pink balloons, flowers; cards and billboards; chocolates, champagne and strawberries will be invading us very soon. We live in a society where heart shaped candy that says “I Love You” is an acceptable tool to use when the words simply can’t seem to come out of you own heart. This is a holiday in which actions (and materialism) actually speak louder than words. I don’t get it…

A friend of mine sends me a daily horoscope, so that I can “be prepared for whatever the day may bring me”. None of it every happens, but it’s still kind of comforting to be prepared for something than for nothing. This week I have been receiving horoscopes that highlight my love life – if I’m already in a relationship, then it will only get better; if I’m single, then the love of my life is just around the corner. The timing couldn’t be more perfect – Valentine’s Day is on it’s way, and I am getting positive cosmic vibes telling me that I will soon find love, and thus will be able to celebrate it.

I have observed some cultural differences in the way this day of love is perceived around the world – and I’ve noticed that people in the U.S. nowadays take this day way more seriously than others do. For example, in France, a "High Court of Love" was established in Paris on Valentine's Day in 1400. The court dealt with love contracts, betrayals, and violence against women. In Latin America the day is known as “Day of Love and Friendship,” in Finland it is known as “Friends Day,” in Portugal “Day of Lovers,” and the list goes on and on…. There are so many meanings behind this day, but the one that surpasses them here in the states is “Single Awareness Day” a.k.a. SAD (ironic). On Singles Awareness Day, single people gather to celebrate or to commiserate in their single status – isn’t that the same as getting together with friends, family? Do you really need to be attached to someone romantically to appreciate and celebrate this holiday?
In my opinion, I think it is absurd to exaggerate ones expression of love for life, family, friends, and loved ones on this specific day. If you love someone (anyone) this should be expressed and appreciated every single day. If you truly feel lucky to have these people in your life, then that is something they should know on a regular basis. Why hype up the holiday and add pressure on people who are happy just as they are - not needing to buy presents, and pay for expensive dinners, or feel bad that they are single, or in an unhappy relationship. Generalizing what you should be doing on this day, it  A) throws the “surprise factor” out the window  B) everything now is a complete cliché  C) it builds pressure around a relationship (especially for the guy)  D) it excludes people.

In order to make a reservation at one of the nicest restaurants for this day, you have to call 3 months in advance, otherwise forget about it. Chocolates are used more by single people as a way of eating their emotions, cards are floating all over the place saying sentimental romantic phrases because you (the person in love) couldn’t come up with anything to say? Really? By buying in to this generic form of celebration it makes people spend money they could have used for something else, it makes women have extremely high expectations for this day to be perfect – will he propose? Where will he take me? What surprise does he have for me? For guys, it makes them feel like the have to do something extra special for their girl on this day (if they remember).

Showing someone how much you love them is the best form of expression, but, it shouldn’t be limited to this one specific day just because someone decided to make February 14 into the “universal” day of love. Everyday love, in general, should be appreciated and expressed – when it’s gone it is one of the most horrible emotions one can feel, and not having cherished it on a daily basis may become a great regret in the future. So if you are married, in a relationship, yes celebrate this day with the your loved one, but don’t limit yourself to showing how much you care for them to only happen on Valentine’s Day. Also, include all the rest of the people you love and appreciate having in your life – family and friends are truly precious and shouldn’t be taken for granted either. And if you are single, please don’t be S.A.D., it isn’t the end of the world, and there are plenty of people you can share this day with who love you and feel lucky to have you in their lives. Valentine’s Day is coming at us full throttle, will you succumb to its pressures, or will you take it as any other day and continue to spread the love just like you do through out the year? I say let Peace and Love reign!

They Need Your Help

It’s sad how a tragedy needs to occur to get one’s priorities in order. The Haiti earthquake disaster has shifted the world’s attention, and has given us a reason to do good for others. Disasters like these will push us back to the “good” people we know we can be, some turn to prayer even though they haven’t been very religious for a long time. Others create charities, fundraisers, and events to bring awareness and raise the necessary money for doctors, re-construction, food, shelter, assistance of any and every sort. When we see tragedies unfold all over the world it can scare a lot of people, but it can also make them feel guilty for taking for granted everything they have in their lives.
What would you do if one day everything was taken from you, no home, no family, nothing. And everyone around you is in the same situation. You walk around where you used to live, lucky to still be alive, but in complete pain because you’ve lost everything dear to you. If I try to put myself in the shoes of all those orphans in Haiti, of the people who have lost their homes, of those trying to rescue and help – it’s too overwhelming, I honestly don’t know what I would do. I know what I would like to do – help; but at the same time I feel so powerless, and so guilty to be healthy and have my family – there are so many things that are taken for granted on a daily basis, replaced with superficial stupidity. I see people all the time with mixed up priorities, and it truly bothers me. In Hollywood a person is more likely to freak out and get furious over a salad that came without bacon when they very specifically ASKED FOR BACON! Or, they will spend the entire day grooming themselves to “perfection” spending money on nails, hair, clothes, expensive food (which shouldn’t be expensive in the first place – I’m sorry but $20 for a Caesar Salad? Ridiculous), but not pay their bills, their kids tuition, or even their staff. If they can’t get a table at a certain restaurant they get offended, if the Bentley they want isn’t in the color they want then they throw a fit. And then a worldwide wake up call happens and all of a sudden everyone remembers how to be (or at least act like) a decent human being. But how many of them actually do something about it? After the exposure is finished they go back to their plastic ways, and continue on with their “very important” daily routines; meanwhile the world is still suffering, still in need.
With so much to give very seldom people will do it, unless of course it makes them look good in the public’s eye. If Angelina Jolie and Brad Pitt are donating, then I will too. Please, that has nothing to do with helping out the poor people stricken with this disaster. Writing a check is only significant if you mean to help, if you check every day how things are going, if you can do anything else, send food, help raise awareness and bring to light all the necessary elements that could be put to good use.
It truly is sad that a tragedy has to occur to a) bring people together b) make people aware of worldwide news and events c) get us to put our priorities in order d) stop taking for granted what we indulge in every day – it’s interesting to think that health, family, food, etc.. are actual luxuries that some people don’t get to enjoy of.
Join me in helping the Haiti Earthquake relief, there are so many organizations out there trying their best to help the situation as much as possible – try to imagine yourself in their situation, and help them as you would like them to help you.

www.haitirelieffund.org
www.haitiaction.net/About/HERF/HERF.html
www.worldvision.org/
www.redcross.org/

No Child Left Behind

Schools around the U.S. have taken a different route in their teaching and evaluation requirements, making it worse for students in the long run. “As deadlines approached for schools to start making passage of the exams a requirement for graduation, and practice tests indicated that large numbers of students would fail, many states softened standards, delayed the requirement or added alternative paths to a diploma.”

Wouldn’t it make more sense to better prepare students for college, rather than making it easier to pass a test, which may or may not even be useful to them. A true or false question, or a multiple choice question answered right, doesn’t make for better performance in college. Professors, teachers, parents and students need to step it up. Standardized tests have never been anyone’s favorite exam, but if it has gotten too difficult for students now, instead of making it easier for them, why not take a different approach. Essay questions and presentations might be a better way for getting kids to actually understand what they are learning and not just memorizing for the sake of an exam. Standardization of school material means that kids learn how to increase their memory for specific data, and soon after the exam is over, they are quick to dispose of the info. This is how schools teach kids to believe, rather than to think. Is this truly the best way to prepare kids for a college education? Or is watering down the tests to make it easier for them a better way? If test scores are down it might also mean that children have no interest or desire to try their best, and the economic situation as of late may have catapulted their apathetic view of education. For them it is something forced upon them, for teachers it is a job and their lack of pushing their students to reach their potential may also be a problem.

So, if standardized tests don’t really show how prepared a student is for life after high school, then what do they show? Or rather, why are they used? Is it a mechanism used for separating the weak from the strong? Who will be moving forward and who will end up working at a gas station? Or is it a way for the government to make more money? It makes no sense, we are all different, we learn differently, we express ourselves differently, so what if a multiple choice test is not our forte, but we might be a genius if you would just let us tell you what we learned and how it works? Will the school board listen, categorize the child as lazy, lacking knowledge or logic? How in the world is this fair?

When applying to a college, your SAT scores are important, I get that. But, what the admissions office really looks at are your essays, and the way you differentiate yourself from the rest. Any kid who is applying to a college is smart, they know that. What’s important is how they have used their knowledge, how their experiences have affected who they are and how they’ve handled themselves in life. Shouldn’t this type of expression and learning also be included in a child’s education?

The No Child Left Behind Act “calls for every state to set standards in reading and math, and for every student to be proficient at those subjects by 2014.” It was meant to be a motivator and potential mover. In reality it hasn’t done all that much other than ironically leave kids behind. It was meant to lift up the test scores for minority groups, but now it seems that kids in general are having a hard time with these tests, and making them easier won’t get them anywhere.

The Obama administration is set to use a “Congressional rewriting of the federal law later this year to toughen requirements on topics like teacher quality and academic standards and to intensify its focus on helping failing schools.” Let’s hope that by increasing educational quality all around will help get these kids motivated, interested and capable of taking on life after high school – it’s not easy, and by making it seem like it is will only jeopardize their futures.

All the World is a Stage

Everybody loves a good scandal, as long as it’s happening to someone else, someone not all that real to us, someone we can hate/love without actually having to interact with them. Our ideal candidates? Public & political figures, celebrities, and as of lately athletes. It has gotten to a point where “we the public” can now dictate a person’s worth based on actions that have nothing to do with their profession. Is a candidate for presidency not capable of running office because he/she cheated on their spouse? We learned with Bill Clinton that it doesn’t matter, and whatever goes on in their personal lives is none of our concern. But, we love to humiliate the powerful and all mighty; show them their flaws and make them known all around. You are not so grand and your personal life is a mess, this is what we tell them in our own way. Well, wouldn’t that be their problem, not ours? The public’s “power” has transformed into a ridiculous judiciary system where we put these “public figures” on trial for all the world to judge. How do we know that what we are judging is even true? And shouldn't we be judging and checking that they do their job responsibly and as best they can?
Mel Gibson recently said he felt bad for Tiger Woods, and that the whole situation of his various infidelities is being blown way out of proportion – you think? "Why are we talking about this when we're sending 30,000 more troops to Afghanistan?” said Gibson... “He's being used as a diversion, and it just drives me crazy." I agree, there are so many other more important things happening in the world, things that actually have an effect on the great majority of the worlds inhabitants, and here we are watching headlines all over the place about Tiger Woods and what he did, the fact that he has decided to take a break from what has made him so great – he is an athlete, he very seldom failed as a pro; and now due to all the scrutiny about his personal issues he has decided to take a break from continuing to accomplish his dream. Sean Penn did the same when his marriage was falling apart; he took a break from acting after just having won an Academy Award. Interesting trend, as soon as these people reach an important accomplishment or success, they are quick to fall. Why should their personal lives matter to the public, and why should they affect their careers? There is no justification in their actions, and I can’t seem to wrap my head around the fact that they feel like they need to “act responsibly” in order to appease the public, rather than doing it for themselves. Where am I getting the idea that their attempts at reformation are for the public rather than for their families? Perhaps from their very public announcements? Or from the fact that we refuse to let them get away with it – boycott their films, endorsed products, etc… If they are going to reform that is great, but it should be done for them and their family, truly. Why make a speech, do an interview and address the issue, making it into something worthy of attention?
Is it their fault or ours as an audience? Both I guess. We tend to prefer soft news versus hard news, maybe because we are so used to fictionalized and sensationalized drama. We see it everywhere and it’s become easy to manipulate and create these events at our request. These public figures aren’t real to us, they are simply characters meant for our entertainment, everything about them is made up in our minds, made up by the press, made up by themselves- we forget they are real people. Isn’t it better to see a celebrity in yet another scandal than to see the reality of those poor people who are in grave danger on a daily basis finding themselves as collateral for a war they didn't wish upon themselves?
Some people might say that the news is a plethora of negativity, it’s just one catastrophe after another: death, disasters, war, hunger, poverty, etc… the list is never ending. Meanwhile, the tabloids are full of sensationalized stories that read like a soap opera, full of juicy gossip on people you don’t even know, but people you have come to love or hate a.k.a. “the popular crowd” people seen from afar, easy targets for gossip and bashing. I really don’t want to think that ignorance is the reason for why people would prefer reading about an actor/athlete gone wrong, rather than read about what bill’s are being passed by Congress, which issues are not being addressed by our government, etc… If the public can be so powerful as to control what we want to read and learn about, then we should be directing such focus on reality, on world events, on finding solutions to the many problems that plague our newsrooms. Yes, the world is not a perfect place, and neither are the people in it. I’m just asking that our attention be directed towards more substantial issues rather than who is dating whom. At this point I would have thought that we would be over the whole “high school” notion of what is newsworthy. So the man cheated on his wife, why on earth should you care? This problem is between him and his wife, and the reformation should be for the benefit of his family - that’s it, you are out of the picture, and so are all your judgements. Try to re-direct that anger towards this person you don’t even know, and focus on the evils of the world, try to think of ways to make it better. If you don’t want the news to be so negative then you shouldn’t be either. More important issues and situations need our attention. Be the powerful public that makes them come to light.

From Start to Finish

To go big, you have to think small. Sounds contradicting right? Well with all the New Year Resolutions circling about that is exactly what the experts are advising. They say we need to set up short-term goals that you know you’ll accomplish, all the while not losing focus on the big picture. Hmm… seems easier said than done. But, it makes sense to take it step by step. I used to have that type of reasoning whenever I played tennis, focus on the next point, not the entire game. By playing each point individually I would play my best and eventually accomplish my goal. I wouldn’t get distracted, or concerned about how much longer I had to play in order to win, etc… The key is to stay focused on the big picture by breaking it into smaller pictures, which in the end will lead up to your very own movie.
It’s like when you have a jam-packed day at work, 100 things need to get done and before you even start you’re already stressed out of your mind. When this happens, you need to take a deep breath, and prioritize your tasks, make up a list and tackle them one by one. Before you know it you’ll have finished more than you thought.
This manner of rationalizing goals and accomplishments has been around for a long time now, taken for granted by civilians but greatly used by governments throughout time. Think about it, how do countries get taken over? The army doesn’t just rampage around the entire country taking down everything in site. They take over city by city, town by town until there’s no other choice than to surrender – the enemy is all around and there is no where else to turn to. Ok, that’s a little extreme.
A more relatable goal might be to run a marathon. That would be your long-term goal. How are you going to accomplish it? By setting smaller goals. I will run x amount of miles this week, I will change my diet, I will join a training group, etc… By accomplishing these short-term goals, you are most likely to run across that finish line.
Have you noticed that 99% of new years resolution are about improving oneself? Losing weight, quit smoking, be more conscientious about money… it’s like we’re making ourselves into failures before the year even starts, I don’t understand why.

365 days is a long time, and things might get side tracked, not a big deal. Why do we have to make ourselves start to improve right after New Years Eve. How many people said to themselves: this will be my last cigarette, this will be my last piece of cake, starting tomorrow I will practically be living at the gym, etc…And I will start my new lifestyle January 1st.

Improving oneself shouldn’t have a time frame, it should be continuous and you should start whenever you feel ready. Why can’t that be our long-term goal? To improve oneself on a daily basis. I bet that with that type of reasoning and practice, we could end up becoming better and better as the days pass. The point is to get to where it is no longer a burden you need to practice; it’ll become a part of you and how you grow as a person. New Years Resolutions are fine in the sense that it makes you want to put things in perspective, but instead of looking at the whole year to accomplish something, make it a daily routine. You might lose focus on the long-term goal, but at least it’ll already be an integrate part of you. Practice what you preach, and don’t complain if you refuse to act on your problem or you're friends will end up claiming their New Years Resolution was to drop fussy friends who whine all the time.

Gold Star at the End of the Day?

Which would you rather be – the tortoise or the hare? Would you rather work hard at a steady pace, learn as you go until you finally reach your goal? Or, would you rather speed ahead and teleport to where you want to be? Honestly, I would rather get there faster. I’ve always been one of those people who run instead of walk. Patience has not really been one of my strongest assets; and in turn I tend to fall more than those who take their time to calculate how and when they will jump, I just leap forward not quite sure of where I’m going to land. Does it really matter if you know or don’t? The answer is debatable, unless you’re literally going to jump – then you better know where your next step is going to be or you’ll end up landing in the hospital.
What truly matters to me is how you adapt and handle the situations you find yourself in. If you skipped ahead of the line, then you better know what you’re doing, and if you don’t then I suggest you apply your speediness and learn fast. If you are going to make it step by step please don’t be lazy or you’ll find yourself in the same step for a looong time. In either scenario, one thing is for sure: you have to work hard. You have to be diligent no matter what, never arrogant. Even though you may have been catapulted to the finish line, you still have to work hard to stay at the top.
If you choose to be the hare, then go full throttle on everything you do. Don’t go by the fable and take a nap because you think you’re ahead. In that short lapse of time someone else will come and take your place – their diligence will make them worthy of the position and your laziness will make it seem as if you have taken your job for granted and maybe never even deserved it in the first place. Thinking just because it came to you with ease, then everything else will fall in to place too will only lead to trouble.
Remember my blog about following through? Take another look; it applies to most things you’ll encounter in any environment, but especially at work. Just because the King made you a knight doesn’t mean all you’ll end up doing is gallivanting about enjoying the same luxuries as HRH. Eventually, he will send you to battle because he thinks you are capable of such endeavors. If you go to war not knowing how to do the job you will probably end up losing one way or another.
Don’t try and skip steps with the notion of just getting ahead of the pack, do it because you know you are capable and deserving of such position. What goes up must come down, unless you’ve figured out a way to fight the good fight in order to stay in that place, or continue to go higher. Hard work is always necessary – don’t let anybody fool you.

I Am Me, Who Are You?

Now that the Holiday’s are over, it’s back to reality for most of us – job, school, etc… And I’m not going to lie; I could have stayed at home a little longer. There’s just something so comforting about being at home with your family and friends you’ve known since forever – you can just be yourself. At work you have a specific title and responsibilities, at school you have to go to class, study and make time to have a social life. At home 90% of what you do is socialize and the other 10% is spent sleeping.
This made me wonder where people mostly feel that they can be themselves. Is it at home? Or is it at work, where their job description defines them? Maybe it’s in school, where they may express themselves through their knowledge? What is it about a person and their surroundings that define them?
In philosophy, identity is “whatever makes an entity definable and recognizable.” That could be just about anything from a laugh to a profession. I work in an industry that is so consumed with image that they fade away the shadows of who they used to be, and build a new identity altogether – something light years away from who they once were, they change their values, their perceptions and behaviors for something they think will be more acceptable in their line of work. The Film Industry is not an easy environment to be in, and to hold on to ones identity without getting lost in the sea of mirrors and smoke is something to truly admire.
Actors, for example, make a career out of pretending to be someone else. Does their profession define them as fictitious people – just like the characters they play? Or is it a way to escape their true identities, personalities that the public can’t seem to get enough of, and even those personal traits and events are fabricated for the public’s eye. Do we really ever get to know a celebrity? Do they dare show their true colors or do they not even know them anymore? There are so many ways to label a person, it sometimes seems unfair. Why should someone else’s perception of you define you? Why should your job define you? Your friends, family, etc… Only you can define who you are. The key is to be comfortable with yourself, with your environment and the people that surround you on a daily basis. I feel more like me when I’m at home because of the freedom I sometimes take for granted in other areas of my life. At home I am free to speak my mind, to manage my own schedule - make one up or let randomness take over, answer my phone if I want to or not, etc.... At work you have to be careful with what you say out loud, to your boss, clients, everything is so thought out that it seems scripted – not natural, eventually not you. At school, you can truly discover who you are, and who you want to be, it’s a great experience; but in the end it's still somewhat of a work in progress, your almost there but not quite yet.
Even though I believe it is a good thing to know who you are; I’m not asking anyone to label themselves in certain ways depending on what you do, think or say. People change. But most of the time you’ll come to realize how much of a lifesaver it is to be sure of yourself, your values, opinions, etc… In a world where most people just go with the flow, and follow the flock, being you will be the best way to remedy any frustration you might have with the outside world. A phony person is beyond easy to detect, and the humiliation of being exposed is not something anyone will ever enjoy. It is better to be you, in all areas of your life, and let your identity define the type of job you do, the type of friends you make, the type of relationship you maintain with your family, etc… Why let external factors determine anything? It shouldn’t be so hard to just be yourself.