To Do or Not To Do

Which is worse?


a) Losing someone because you’re afraid to love them

b) Holding on to someone who doesn’t love you because you’re too afraid of losing them



For most it would seem that option b would be the worst. It is a type of masochism after all, self inflicting suffering because we know the person that we love does not love us. And even so we keep at it, waiting for them to make the decision for us – break it off or realize that you DO love me. The problem is we can’t force someone to feel a certain way, and we most certainly cannot demand anything from anyone. If we decide to chase after something that has already been lost then all we will find is disappointment, and of course heart break. But, in a way we know all this – in a twisted way we know what we’re doing is wrong, and no one is hurting us other than ourselves. We suffer because we want to, and it’s one of the worst feelings. All you can ask yourself is, why? Why doesn’t he love me back? Why did he stop loving me? Why can’t it just be simple? Why can’t this work? Why, why why? Well, the good thing about this question is that there is an answer to it. Either it be because he met someone else, you were too clingy, he wants to focus on other things and doesn’t have time for a relationship – it can be complete BS, BUT, there is an answer to Why?

On the other hand, there is NO answer for What If? Which is the one which I believe is the worst option – a. Losing someone because you are too afraid to commit is the worst for me, because you leave things floating in the air, you never took the chance to see if it would work. Is it better to have loved and lost, than never to have loved at all? Yes! Being afraid is no good – but holding on to something you know has no future will end eventually. There will be suffering but it will go away with time. Not knowing what could have happened will only grow with time. Why break off something that you don’t know yet will work or not. Why would you be so afraid of trying? I say jump off the diving board, you will either sink or swim – but you tried, and now you KNOW!

Being left with what if is a horrible feeling, you make up so many alterantive endings to that story that you keep wondering and wondering, and you go back to see where you could have done something and your life could have changed. We live and we learn, but if we’re too afraid to to actually live, then what will we learn? Not doing something is what you will probably regret down the line, than having done something and failed.

For me, losing someone because you’re too afraid to love them is the worst. Its better to look back and know you tried, than be left wondering what could have been. Take the risk, I may be more of an optimist than I thought, but you never know – it might work out!