Pushing and Shoving

Does having high standards and goals just set you up for disappointment? There are so many recent Grad’s out there and very little employment opportunities that it makes one think “Now what?”

We’ve worked our butts off in school for so long, and now that we’ve finally graduated from college we can’t take the next step because no one’s hiring? These young adults have spent all those years preparing for their future and their careers, all to be put to a halt when they are finally ready for the real world. Putting aside the economic circumstances, this whole situation is painted from head to toe with unfairness.

It’s unfair for the parents who have paid for their child’s education; unfair for those recent graduates who went to school with the idea that having an education would make their futures brighter; and it is unfair for the workplace in general because they will lack the freshness and innovation that these young adults usually offer. A lot of employers pay great attention to who has more experience; if you’re a “newbie” then your chances of getting hired are slim. What these stubborn employers don’t realize is that the greener you are the more grounded you are. Us young adults have our roots firmly planted; we continue to cultivate our values and morals coming into the workforce with the intention to work hard. We have so much to prove that our eagerness many times gets misconstrued with being naïve and not understanding how the world works. Well Dear Employers, you might want to reconsider and re-evaluate who you hire.

I must admit that I’m still very green, I’ve been working for about 14 months and obviously I still have a lot to do and a lot to learn. But, I have been perceptive to my work environment and that of my colleagues and I must say that “we newbie’s” come with our logic and sanity still in tact – and that is one of our greatest assets and strengths as we start our careers. We have just finished 4 tough years of college and are well aware of what past precedents and of what we are capable and able to do in the present. Our standards are still high (with most of us being overachievers) but, they are still grounded in the realm of reality/possibility.
I’ve known, seen and heard so many stories about those in charge and their demands – asking their employees to make the impossible become possible and not in the motivational sense of “you can do anything you put your mind to”, rather in the “I want a flying unicorn in my office by tomorrow morning” type of impossible. And then, when reality sinks in and they don’t get their way they freak out because they are surrounded by incompetent people. This sort of proves my point that the more time and experience you have working, the more specialized your brain becomes, thus logic and common sense are thrown out the window. So, I ask you Dear Employer, would you rather have more flying monkey’s taking over your company, or would you rather have sane and grounded flowers ready to be groomed and eager to learn and help make your company thrive? I’d go with the daisies.

And now back to you my fellow flowers. Yes, it sucks that you can’t get your dream job right out of college; you’ve worked so hard. But, don’t be scared if you stray a little from your career goals and go with the first job you are offered – there’s no shame, you need a paying job so you can pay the rent. No offense Mom and Dad, but after all those years of living on our own, moving back home would feel like taking a step back. So, if you’re frustrated because you’re not where you thought you would be at this point in your life, don’t be – as long as you never loose focus of what you want you’ll be fine. Having high standards and goals not being met right away should not bring disappointment, make them a challenge, push yourself and do your best to get closer to your dream. It shouldn’t matter where you start as long as you’re going in the right direction. “All roads lead to Rome” right? Just stay focused on your version of Rome, and sooner or later you’ll get there.

What's next?

From the sophistication of the Rat Pack in the 50’s, to the free loving Flower Children of the 60’s, followed by the psychedelic green revolution and women’s liberation movement of the 70’s, and the health conscious money driven Yuppies of the 80’s, finally making it’s way to the Internet Generation of the 1990’s-2000’s. It’s pretty obvious we’ve come a long way. Each generation has been focused on a different ideology, but they’ve all been focused on moving forward. With each youth movement there has been an innate need for innovation, rebellion, and communication.

We rebel in order to produce change; and one of the greatest movements of all has enabled us to reach out and bring awareness on a higher level – Free Speech Movement. Today’s generation has so many vehicles of communication, so many ways of disseminating information that it has become beyond difficult to not know what is going on in the world.  But what are we fighting for these days, what are we advocating for? Activism and social issues aren’t the same as they were in the 1960’s, patriotism has overshadowed our protests against the war; corporation’s have been hit so hard by the economy that creating a riot due to the high levels of unemployment wouldn’t really shake or move much. We might not be dealing so heavily with social issues like the generations before us; but we are dealing with global issues, which have been even more difficult to overcome. I feel like most of us have been waiting for those who lead the world to do their job and fix our problems – they caused it, now they fix it. If that’s our way of thinking then we haven’t learned much from those famed “hippies”. We each need to do our part to produce change; leaning on those who have led us astray isn’t the answer, crossing our arms and putting the blame on others never helps.

If you’ve been paying attention to the media lately you may have noticed that little by little they’ve been trying to get us to stand up for ourselves – shocking I know. But, look at the people who are being emphasized for their strength and courage, people being praised for their achievements, for their charity work, for bringing awareness to the public about the world’s current situation – celebrity or commoner, the spotlight is being put on those who are trying to make a difference. Even the film industry has been reinventing old stories and characters, making their background darker and more aggressive, thus giving them even more incentive to achieve greatness. For example, the new “Alice in Wonderland” film will portray a more warrior-like Alice. She’s not the lost little girl anymore; she’s way more empowered and courageous this time around, thus giving girls a new heroine to look up to. Then there’s the new “Robin Hood” movie also coming out next year. Be ready to see a different side of Robin, there are no men in tights in this movie. He is a military man who has fought in the 3rd crusade and now must fight against tyranny and corruption in order to take back what is rightfully his and that of the people. Are you seeing the same trend I am?

But, alas, there will be no hero to come and save us from our crummy situations. And apparently we don’t need one. Each one of us needs to show responsibility and accountability for what is to come of us. We can’t really revolt against our government – what good would that do? What we can do is start to bring even more awareness and get more people involved in helping our cause. Do we really want to be branded as “Generation W”, the generation of whiners? I didn’t think so.

Every generation has been revolutionary in it’s own way. We’ve been called the iGeneration – I for Internet, not for the great abundance of iPod’s – for a while now. Well, it’s about to be 2010 in a couple days, and I want to believe it’s safe to say that a new generation needs to be put into play. Being known for sitting in front of a computer 90% of the time isn’t really what I would want to be remembered as – no offense, I know the internet has been a phenomenal tool in truly democratizing access to information and enabling us to participate on a global level on various forms of communication. But, it’s time to be innovative once again and try to be our own hero/heroine in order to get ourselves out of these murky waters. If the principle of deduction hasn’t been working (going from global to individual), then maybe the notion of induction might prove to be more useful (moving from individual to global).

The Looking Glass

Why is it so difficult to keep ourselves happy?
We wanted to lose weight, and we did, great. Not enough, 5 more pounds to go – your contentment for what you accomplished is limited to seconds before you need to keep it going. You managed to make a phenomenal meal, and before you even serve it you’re already thinking about what you’ll be cooking tomorrow. Everything needs to be better, bigger, and different. It’s like we’re always competing. We are either trying to prove to ourselves that we can do better or should be better; or we are subconsciously, consciously or even unwillingly competing with others. Having standards, goals and ideals are always good; as long as they are your standards, goals and ideals.

By wishing you were taller, smarter, looked like him, walked like her, etc… you’re focusing on the qualities of others, and without realizing it you end up wishing yourself away. As the saying goes, the grass always seems greener on the other side of the fence; emphasis on seems. What you might want that others have may be just what they wish they didn’t have, or it might not be what we actually thought it was.

Nowadays it’s even more difficult to know what we want or what we choose to believe about ourselves. The media plays such a major role in how we perceive ourselves and how we look at others, that we sometimes fall victims to the many messages we are fed on a daily basis. Everywhere we look we see beautiful, almost perfect people with fabulous lifestyles – magazines, TV (another reason why I hate reality TV, it’s all scripted and staged), billboards, film… We see their airbrushed faces and bodies and think this is natural, if she can look like this then so can I. We forget the fact that we are smarter now, and we know better. We know those images aren’t real, they are pure creation. And yet we find ourselves asking why do actresses/actors always look thin, fit and ripped onscreen? Why do these famous women keep having kids and losing the baby weight instantly while I’ve been exercising my entire life and can’t manage to lose those annoying 5 extra pounds? Well, maybe it’s because “beauty” might actually come with a price. These people can afford to train daily with expert trainers, they have personal chefs that make sure their meals never surpass X amount of calories, they have plastic surgeons on speed dial, etc…

Well isn’t that just lovely. Who wouldn’t want their own army of health nuts and stylists making sure we are always looking like a demi-god? And, there we go again, wanting a lifestyle completely different from our own without thinking twice about the reality of it. We forget the major sacrifices these people undergo on a regular basis.

The downside to that type of lifestyle is that one doesn’t get to command that army, the army of publicists, managers, agents, producers, directors, and even us (the masses) have more control over that person than they would like. They have so many restrictions and obligations going on that I can imagine them wanting their old lifestyles back for at least a week or two. If you think your life sucks, don’t forget that Madonna used to work at a Dunkin’ Donuts, yes now she’s the Queen of Pop, but watch “Roman Holiday” starring Audrey Hepburn again and you’ll realize that all royals (real or “fake”) have a price to pay for their titles – you might have a freedom envious of the Queen of Pop; or in that case even of the Princess of Pop (Britney Spears), a mother of two with a huge career and she still needs to be under the guardianship of her father or she might risk flying off the handle again. You never know what goes on behind closed doors, or in our day and age, you never know what happens when the camera is turned off.  If you think society is putting pressure on you to look, act, or be a certain way; just try to imagine being on the other side – actually having to be the prototype of such illusions, not that much fun once you think about it huh?

So, why wish for someone else’s life/image when you can just try to make yours better or make yours work for you? First work with what you have, then get the facts right, and if you would still rather see yourself as a blonde then give it a try – just don’t freak out if your hair ends up turning green or if that cream that makes you burn fat faster gives your body a nasty rash. Beauty is only skin deep, don't wish or waste yours away.

Sooner or Later

I’ve often heard: you need to spend money to make money; and in turn you make money so you can spend it, right? But, as these financial times get tougher, the more you spend the more irresponsible you become. I realize that nothing is forever, and no one can guarantee your job/income will remain stable. But, if you’re in your twenties and the only person for whom you are financially responsible is yourself, then why would you save the grand majority of your earnings, instead of enjoying (in moderation of course) your hard earned dollars, plus the limited understanding of being young and having fun. You worked hard to get through college; you managed to get a job.  And if most of us work out of necessity, doesn’t that kind of, sort of, maybe, make it OK to try to enjoy life outside those office walls?

People my age are supposedly saving for the future? If I want to have a certain lifestyle then I have to start saving as of yesterday, they say. I get that, but what about right now? These precious moments are passing by at warp speed, next thing you know you saved up a whole bunch of cash to finally not feel guilty of enjoying a night out with your friends, going to a concert, or dancing the night away. Good for you, um but did I mention that all this is most likely now going to take place when you're in your 40’s?? Hmm. Now don’t get me wrong, I’m not saying that splurging and wasting your money on outings, clothes, and trips is essential in order to have fun. But, you can’t be too stingy either, unless of course you want to wake up middle aged and bitter in knowing that your kid is able to enjoy their youth and you never could because you didn’t want to spend your hard earned money and now your kids are spending it for you.

At this point in our lives I think (hope) it’s safe to say that most of us have learned how to budget one’s income. First come the majors: rent and food, then there’s gas for your car, the monthly bills, coffee (yes, for most of us it has become an essential dietary staple consumed daily), etc… and then you take what’s left over and you put some of it into your savings account and the rest goes to you. This would be the ideal way of managing one’s money, right? Well, couldn't it be?

I’ve had to re-type an entire film budget and I’ve noticed that for every major player there is a category that relates to “entertainment” for the producers, director, etc… If accountants and financial analysts can leave room and account for money to be spent specifically for the entertainment of these people, then why can’t we?

Save for stability in your future, but don’t forget that this is also your time for fun – by the time you think you’ve saved enough to splurge every once in a while, might be a tad too late to enjoy the festivities of your 20’s – that cute short skirt you always wanted might not be  appropriate after.

Be sure to prioritize, but manage to make room for some random elements that might take you by surprise. As we all learned in math (even though some of us were sleeping, take a second look at your notes, you might be surprised you actually wrote it down) – always account for variables. And another thing numbers has taught us, especially when applied to expiration dates, enjoy it while you can.

The Art of Following Through

Ever been a member of a sports team? Remember what your coach would always emphasize at every practice? “Don’t forget to follow through.” Be it tennis, golf, baseball, basketball, hockey, etc… there has always been the athletic known importance of following through. This little lesson has also become a useful tactic for everyday life.

To follow through on a swing, kick or throw means making it through to the end, your goal is to get the ball to the other side of the court, to have the ball go through, over, or into the net; or maybe you just need to hit it out of the ballpark. Whatever your goal might be you need to carry out a stroke until it’s natural completion. According to my tennis coach, that’s the only way of playing properly, of managing to get the ball over the net and onto the other side of the court. If you don’t follow through on your swing you’ll either hit the ball straight into the ground, the net or out of bound. Interesting how this athletic philosophy can be translated into other areas of life.

In life it is just as important to follow through on ones goals. If actions speak louder than words, then we need to get ourselves into motion. From small things to major ones, you’ll find that sticking to your word will be more beneficial. Maybe this way those childish white lies might be avoided; if you say you’ll call then call, if you accept an invitation then attend the event, send a thank you note after an interview... put into effect whatever it is you want to do. These little maneuver’s will most likely get you from point A to B; they’ll keep you going until you manage to get there.

Wouldn’t it be great to get rid of the irritating doubt of “what if?” Think about what your objective is, what will be your drive? The whole notion of “I think, therefore, I am” is a little overrated in my book. These days you actually have to do something that proves you can be whatever you want - you do, therefore, you are. Thinking about it is the first step; but then you actually have to follow through on the requirements in order to achieve your goal. You may want to be a whole lot of things, but the actual act of following through is one of the basic and most important elements that will make you cross that finish line in whatever platform you might find yourself in.

Season's Greetings

Tis the season to be jolly… With this economy?? Yeah right.
People getting fired left and right, promises of a better tomorrow seem further away, no time or money to go buy presents for your loved ones… One might think there are many reasons for why the holiday’s might be more blue than merry, but maybe that’s not such a bad thing after all. I mean do we really need to buy gifts for this to be a happy season? Will your sister really wear that necklace? Will your best friend just end up returning her gift? And what unique present could you possibly get your mom? I think she’s received enough framed pictures of you throughout the years. Why try to be creative with material gifts, when instead you can start to think of new ways to make the holidays a joyful and fun occasion again.
Make these hard times work for you, throw away the superficial idea of Christmas, and get back to the basics. Like, spending time with family and friends, so have your parents hide the TV remote; and start calling up people and making plans. Just because it’s cold, snowing or raining outside doesn’t mean it’s ok to turn into a couch potato. Get creative and start enjoying this time of year, even trendy places are making the most of the season; for example the W hotel in Brentwood has transformed the backyard swimming pool into a skating rink. You can also get together with your friends and bake holiday treats, cook up dinners, have cocktail parties, etc… Even people watching at a shopping center like The Grove can give you a new perspective; you’ll either laugh at the people going from store to store as if competing to see who can carry the most bags before their arms fall off, or you can see the look on kids faces as they look up at the huge Christmas tree in awe, or see them pull their parents with all their might so that they can get in line to see Santa. It can take you back to when you were a kid, it can make you smile and remember what this time of year meant for you. Now of course it probably meant getting presents, you were a kid after all; but now you know a little bit better and you can indulge and be creative with its meaning. Will you be bummed out that you might not get the presents you want? Will you be nervous and feel guilty that you might show up empty handed to one of your many holiday parties? Or will you try to make the most of it? As for me, all I want for this holiday season is to be able to enjoy my time at home, no blackberry buzzing every 5 minute with a new email from work, no worrying if my boss is going to call after I left the office. I just want to take a break and be at peace so I can prepare and brace myself for the madness that follows the New Year. As the song goes “Let there be peace on earth, and let it begin with me.”

The Importance of Manners

I was taught at an early age how to be polite and how to be respectful of others, especially of those who are older. It’s hard not to like a person with good manners; someone who is attentive will be received with a smile as opposed to someone who will cough in your face – pure disgust. I would never dream of interrupting my mom and grandmother when they were in deep conversation, my dad always opened the door for my mom and me, no one started eating unless everyone at the table had been served, etc…
When I went to my friend’s houses, the same would apply. I never thought of myself as extra considerate or extra well mannered, it was just the way things were. Even if you did something you weren’t supposed to, your parents would be the first ones to make you apologize, say hello, or fix whatever it is you did.
Things stayed kind of the same when I transitioned from High School in Mexico, to College in the US. I went to UC Berkeley, and let me tell you, students there are more likely to crucify you if you make a sudden movement in the library that might distract them from their studying. People would walk slower as if tip-toeing so that they wouldn’t disturb their fellow classmates, and also so they wouldn’t receive those nasty glares. Committing a social faux pas is a horrible experience. If you walked out of a lecture while the professor was still talking, then you could expect the whole room of 200+ students turn your way as you “quietly” tried to open the door, sometimes even the professor would glance over to see who would dare walk out of their lecture. Thus students wouldn’t walk out unless their bladder was about to explode, and they had no other choice – can you imagine the other faux pas of actually “going” in the classroom? Beyond humiliating.
After graduation I moved to Los Angeles to work in film. A complete cliché on paper I know, but believe it or not I did not come here to be an actress or a screenplay. I just want to share stories with the world, stories worth telling- yes I know, a Berkeley cliché, but one I actually believe in. I was blown away with the type of people who think they rule Hollywood. Barking orders, yelling at their staff, slamming doors, having guests wait 30 minutes outside the office while they finished updating their Facebook status – sad but true. It doesn’t make you seem more important, just so you know; you look like you’ve lost all type of social decency.
I’m not saying people should be extra considerate of others, I mean I am in a place where everyone puts themselves first, no matter what. But being polite should never be thrown completely out the window, unless you want to look like a complete lunatic and have your staff and colleagues make fun of you behind your back. As the old saying goes “do unto others as you would have them do unto you.” Be considerate and polite and you’ll find that others will reciprocate. If you want to be respected then you must practice it before you receive it. Don’t forget those little rules of etiquette your parents taught you when you were little, in a world where they are scarce habits, they can make you stand out in a positive way.